She can be such a terror.....and then there was yesterday

This post is dedicated to Harper:

Harper, when you are older we will look back on your childhood with laughter, giggles and stress (like most children's childhoods are made up of). You are our middle child. You are the one who challenges us most (although, right this second your younger brother is giving you a definite run for your money in that category). You do things that you know are wrong just to get a reaction out of us. You stick your tongue out at me when I tell you to do something, you pull your pants down and "moon" your sister when she aggravates you (I have no idea where you learned this ever so lady-like gesture), you hit, you bite, you push and when we are not completely over the edge frustrated with you, you make us giggle to no end. I contend this is why your behavior has been known to be out of control. Because you do with all of these fantastic behaviors with the cutest funniest expression on your face....and your grin is infectious.

Yesterday you threw a fit in church. It.was.epic! We went to early service. There is no nursery. Your brother was beyond disruptive so your dad took him out to let him crawl around the vestibule/lobby. That left me with you and your sister who chatted, argued and then got the giggles....but this time, you see, it was NOT infectious. It was during silent prayer and communion time. I told you both to "zip it" multiple times, I separated you....in the end I just could not wait to get out of there.

When we exited the sanctuary, your dad could tell by the look on my face that I had had to put up with way too much. He decided to have a "talk" which resulted in a screaming fit - right there in front of God and everybody. It was beyond embarrassing. He left carrying you out to the car. I heard your screams down the entire 50 yard hallway. People stared and exchanged knowing glances of what was to be your fate.

You calmed down, we finished our day at church and finished our day in general. The fit was forgotten because that's what good daddies do.

However, you did not forget it. Last night after you were put to bed you got up, crawled in daddy's lap and said, ever so softly, "I'm sorry I was mad to you at church".....I actually saw his heart drip down his arms as it melted right out of his chest....

He tucked you in, kissed you on the forehead, left your room, looked me in the eye and said "some dude is gonna be in real trouble someday with that one.....she just knows how to get you right in center of the chest"

You make it worth it, Harp - with all your antics and craziness, I wouldn't trade my life or my Middle Sister for the world!

Sorry Kids

I had the morning to myself....well, once it hit 9:00 anyway. I had a doctor's appt., I went to the bank, the post office, spent entirely too much money at Wal-Mart on groceries, came home, unloaded all the groceries, grabbed a quick bite, put away the refrigerated groceries, picked up the kids, put the little one down for a nap, put up the non-refrigerated items, picked up the house just in time to entertain friends for a bit before the dinner crazy hour hit.

I should have been relaxed. I had the morning to myself, albeit a busy one, it was still to myself. I had adult conversation, albeit constantly interrupted, it was still adult conversation....and yet I acted like a lunatic tonight. The house is a disaster (daddy's out of town), the dinner wasn't prepped, Harper didnt' have a nap, Rem's naps were crazy messed up, and EVERYONE said 8 million times "Iiii''mmmm HHHUUUUNNNGGGGRRRRYYYYYY" (insert the most whiny voice ever). Harper spilled water because she was pouring the contents of one cup into another and I asked her twice to stop and then I heard the splat of spilled water on the tile floor. She was sent to her room an additional 3 times before dinner. Remington was in a TERRIBLE mood. Sydney was extremely helpful, but clearly, I was raining on her "I'm playing school" parade.

All in all, I was THAT mom who screamed too much, became way too exasperated, spanked, got frustrated and then cracked an adult beverage.

Sorry kids :) - Tomorrow will be better....I hope :)

"It means you get to eat the cracker...."

Two posts in one day (GASP) - Relax, it's January 1st - I'll be down to one a week in no time :). This one's about the kiddos...as promised.

While at my mother in law's house last week, my two older girls were playing pretend play as usual. They always have the silliest games. This day in particular they were playing "Baptize me". Sydney would dip Harper and say "congratulations, girl. You're baptized". So I asked her "Do you know what it means to be baptized?" to which she replied, "it means you get to eat the cracker."

Sydney has been told over and over again that communion is a grown up tradition and she can't participate until she gets baptized. At our church this means that you've gone through a class and been taught about the symbols of communion, therefore you understand God's great sacrifice. I've been taking communion since I was in the 4th grade, went through the class and got baptized, but until I had children of my own, I never fully understood God's sacrifice. As my pastor said at the communion table this morning, "I cannot imagine losing a child, but giving one up to go through what Jesus went through is unfathomable. And, that's how much God loves us."

Dear God, may I instill in my children that it is about so much more than eating a cracker.

Thank you God, for your ultimate sacrifice

This year I promise to.....

Actually use this blog. I started this blog a couple of years ago with visions of my funny children keeping me inspired to write at least once a day. While they are quite the inspiration I often find that a status update serves the purpose of a funny story instead of a whole blog. I also have several friends who are VERY talented bloggers and writers. If I were smart I would use their blogs as inspiration and not to feel defeated about my own writing, but I usually read one of their stories that has me just about peeing my pants and decide I'll never make it as a blogger so I move on to facebooking and mommying because I'm pretty good at those things (ok the mommying thing is sometimes debatable :).

That attitude is moving out this year! I am deeming 2012 as the year of sheer success and wealth. It is going to be EPIC because of the people I surround myself, the goals that I have and the new attitude that my husband and I have been sharing the last several months. One of the most influential things we did this year was get involved with an amazing gym. We started martial arts as a family - everyone participates except the little two and within a few months I was working in the fitness industry again as a group exercise instructor, coordinator and personal trainer. I feel alive again. I feel a part of something so much bigger than myself. I feel like I am changing people's lives and it feels awesome. The people at the gym, yes a bunch of cage fighters, are some of the most amazing people my husband and I have ever met. They are positive, they love life, they love their creator and they only expect awesomeness. Since becoming involved with these fantastic people we have become more positive people. We write our goals down, we check them off when we get there, we have a WAY different attitude about finances and we stay in a much more positive place 90% of the time (the other 10% we are very human, get frustrated, yell at the kids too much, and become more negative). We listen to motivational speakers, we read motivational books, we pray fervently and without ceasing, we keep journals and have instilled these things in the kiddos (one day I should attach a picture of Sydney's journal and goals to this blog....so.incredibly.sweet and real). I tell you all this so that you can hold me accountable in 2012. I am listing the things I will accomplish in 2012 so here goes:

In this the year of Sheer Success and Wealth the following things will happen:

- I will finish the book I am working on.

- I will blog weekly

- I will keep my personal training schedule full, challenging and life altering for those that hire me to do so

- We will sell our house

- We will FINALLY go to the beach (we've been promising Sydney we'll go the last 3 years and when it comes right down to it we say we can't afford it - NO MORE!)

- I will read at least 10 motivational books on business, wealth and/or leadership

- My children will continue to see happy, stress free parents that ALWAYS make time to do what's important on their list - no matter how small and unimportant it seems to me

- I will make time every day to make myself a better person, a better Christian, a better leader, a better mommy and a better wife, even if it means only having time for a short scripture and prayer.

- I will change people's lives with my knowledge, my leadership skills, my infectious positive attitude and my quest for happiness, Sheer Success and Wealth.

Stay tuned for more life changing news from the Arrant front

A good cry

I love being a mom, but there are certain times in my life that I just don't like this gig - and those times are when you see your baby in emotional turmoil. So much has happened since my last blog (but that's another blog for another day). I decided to blog today because it was Sydney's first day of first grade....and I couldn't help, but notice that my last blog was written about her kindergarten graduation. Soooo much has happened - hopefully, I can recap the summer soon, but for now let's discuss why I'm not loving the "mom" job right now. This morning I dropped Sydney off at school. We've been discussing it all summer, she got the teacher she wanted, she's got a few friends in her class, it's the exact same classroom as last year because kindergarten and first grade swapped, she didn't cry at all last year so - it would stand to reason - that this year's first day drop off should go off without a hitch. not.so.much.

We met our friend, Ryan, for doughnuts - we were all smiles. We drove to school - giggling with Harper in the back. We walked in - things got quiet. I knelt down to hug her - insert water works. After trying to calm her down, taking her to the teacher, walking her into her room and finally determining I was going to lose it myself any minute, I left her with her head buried in her arms on her desk and sobbing. I teared up a time or two throughout the morning. I distracted myself with a play date. I missed my dentist appt. I watched "Say Yes To The Dress" (p.s. don't do that when you are all choked up about your daughters growing up and how they'll be getting married before you know it....) I had a couple of phone calls telling me that she was fine. By 1:30 I was feeling much better, but still anxious to go pick her up and see, for myself, how the day went. I could tell when I picked her up that she wasn't her normal self. She talked to daddy, Gigi and Minky on the phone, telling them all that she had a great day - but I had a feeling that she still wasn't being truthful. About 5:30 she completely lost it. She cried, she sobbed, she hugged me.....and she begged me not to make her go tomorrow. I asked multiple times what was wrong, how I could help - she just kept saying "I don't want to go back". So I switched gears "Syd, I can't help you if you can't tell me what's wrong. You cannot stay home from school forever. There's nothing I can do about it". Then....I got this Face book message from a dear friend that told me that Sydney's feelings were important and should be validated. I.felt.terrible -so I got up from my computer, I sat on the couch and I cried with my first grader. I told her that it was ok to cry, that it was ok to be scared and that sometimes I'm scared too....and I just want to cry - so for the next little bit we were just going to cry -and we did.....and guess what? We felt a lot better after that good cry. I'm not convinced we'll be tear free tomorrow....or the next day, but I know we went to bed feeling a lot better than how we came home and for that, I am grateful.

In the meantime, here's to hoping that tomorrow we shed fewer tears and create more smiles!

I am ready as I can be

Dearest Sydney:

I promise you I am tearing up as I write this. When your first born graduates from kindergarten you will understand. Two days ago we attended your "kindergarten celebration". The theme was all about how you and your friends are growing up, you are learning and full of potential. You see, I've known this for sometime, but it's very eye opening to see 100 of you and your friends put on an entire hour long program about it. There are two songs that you sang that stick out in my mind. The first one is called "I Am A Promise". Some of the lyrics are:

"I am a promise, I am a possibility, I am a promise with a capital P, I am a great big ball of potentiality. And, I am learning to hear God's voice and I am trying to make the right choice, I am a promise to be anything God wants me to be."

That sums up my prayer for you Sydney - to be a promise to hear God's word and do your best. You truly are a blessing in our lives as are your brother and sister and I am so proud to be your mommy. Here is my promise to you - to let you fly, to allow you to find your potential and be who God wants you to be.

The other song was called "I Am Ready" - I envision standing at your high school graduation 12 years from now and reliving the lyrics to this song which go like this:

"The future's looking good to me, I am ready to go, ready as I can be. The future's looking good to me, I am ready to go, ready as I can be......." Right now you and 100 other kindergartners were all trying to convince your mommies and daddies that you were ready to go.....to first grade. We're right there with you - of course, you are ready to go to first grade, you are prepared, you've learned to read and write - first grade here we come!! Twelve years from now I think I'm going to need more than a song to convince me that you are ready to leave for college - but the good news is I have 12 years to prepare for that.....and I'm going to need every.last.second.

The future is, indeed, looking good to me too!

I'm starting a new blog

OK - I haven't made it Facebook public yet, but I am going to train for the 2011 Arkansas State Figure Competition. I did it 4 years ago and placed in the top 3. I've aged 4 years and had 2 children since then so I don't know how I'll do, but I'm definitely going to go for it.

Visit my blog at www.courtney-itfigures.blogspot.com to read about my journey.