2010 Christmas Card

So every year (almost) I do a Christmas poem. It's never very good, but hopefully it's entertaining to those who get it. I have thank you notes from weeks ago that are written, but not addressed, not stamped and still sitting on my desk - all that to say, the poem is written, but I'm not sure I'm going to have time to send it out. So I thought I would blog it so anyone of my Face book friends could enjoy it.

Merry Christmas from the Arrants

Two thousand and ten, my what a year
Sadness and joy alike caused us tears.

Sydney turned five on her special February day
Sweet, angelic peacemaker we hope that she stays
A, sometimes bossy, big sister that shows she's caring
by playing with, comforting, loving on and sharing.
A special young lady who will always be on your side
She makes us laugh, she's smart and fills us with pride.

In March there was news bringing our family joy
our fingers were crossed that this time it would be a boy.

In May we bid farewell to one very special P-Paw
loving husband, father, friend and the greatest father in law
The cancer that took him he fought hard for years
Then he let go, let God and faced his fears.
He left with us, the family, a legacy of love
We know he watches over us, smiling down from above.

In mid-July we had yet another celebration
Friends and family came for our Elmo party creation
Harper turned two, our buttons she can push
We know time out well and the occasional spank on the tush.
Then when we think our rope has come to an end
She turns on the charm and becomes your best friend.
Her strong will indeed will serve her well one day
it is because of this, I hope the stubborness stays.
Her giggle contagious, her smile says trouble
if it's too quiet, better check it out on the double.

The rest of summer was filled with lots of fun
The anticipation of kindergarten for us had begun.
August brought excitement and school supplies new
The tears shed by mommy would not be few
Our baby was growing up, kindergarten came too fast
I was worried sick, but good news....she had a blast!

Fall brought Harper quality time with mom and dad
While Sydney excelled at school, never a color change had.

November eleventh our lives changed again
Dad's chest puffed out big, his face sports a grin
It was a long hard labor that brought a new baby and much joy
Remington Pierce Arrant arrived, we finally had a boy
A beautiful new life, miraculous without a flaw
Steel blue eyes and dimples, he looks just like P-paw

That pretty much wraps up this year as we know it
We've been blessed beyond measure and we hope that we show it
Our prayer for you this Christmas season is joy, hope and love
And that two thousand eleven brings you peace from above.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Love,
Aaron, Courtney, Sydney, Harper, Remington
and Sadie, our crazy canine!


I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed Christmas holiday season!

Ice Cream in the Beverage Fridge

Rumor has it that Ice Cream has been enjoying some of our Sam Adams. He got all sideways coming back in from the North Pole last night and was found hanging from the ceiling fan this morning. I tried to smell his breath to see if I could catch him red-handed, but we're not supposed to touch him because his magic dust rubs off. He slept it off most of the day since Sydney was at school and the rest of us were out Christmas shopping most of the morning so he had no one to watch. That's good news for him, but I'm guessing the big S.C. is going to be pretty disappointed. Hopefully, he learned his lesson and is a good little elf for the remainder of his time here.

The Elf on the Shelf!

Last year we purchased The Elf on The Shelf. It was so much fun! Sydney adored him and couldn't wait to see what kind of shenanigans he got in to every night. If you are unaware of the story here it is in a nutshell: It's a small Elf that sits around your house and watches the kids. He flies back to the North Pole every night to report to Santa about the kids' behavior. At our house, Ice Cream can really get into trouble - last year he tried to bake cookies for Santa and made a huge mess with the flour canister - that's where we found him too...stuck in the flour canister. We also found him trapped in the blinds - must have gotten stuck there while flying back in through the window. He always comes back with a note from Santa telling what the kids are doing great with and what they need to work on on a little more. About every 3rd note, he reminds us about the real reason for the season and how important it is to show love year round not just at Christmas.

This year I couldn't wait to get Ice Cream out. I had big plans to bring him out the day after Thanksgiving...when we decorated the house. Well - I forgot and when I finally remembered to get him out (The Sunday after Thanksgiving) I couldn't find him!!! I looked everywhere, to no avail. Tuesday I went right out and bought another one with the intention of setting him out Tuesday night. I forgot. Today is Thursday. I forgot to set him out again last night, but remembered while the girls were in the bathroom. I raced to the closet, ripped him out of the box and ran out and set him in the Christmas tree. When Sydney finally noticed, her first response was "where's our note telling us how awesome we've been this year?"....Crap! She's at school now. Below is the note that I typed out, took outside and rubbed dirt on it - he dropped it coming in last night....silly Ice Cream! Let the Christmas Elf fun begin!!!!

Dear Sydney, Harper and Remington:

What a fantastic year you have had. I am pleased about your behavior and look forward to updates from Ice Cream about how well you continue to behave in this month before Christmas.

Sydney - Ice Cream reports that you are doing a fabulous job in Mrs. Mueller's kindergarten class, listening well and mostly using your manners. Be sure you keep up the Yes ma'ams and No ma'ams with your teachers. I'm proud of what a wonderful big sister you continue to be and I'm proud of the little girl you are growing up to be. Good Job

Harper - Ice Cream reports to me that you recently pee peed on the potty!!! Great Job Harper! That is wonderful news. You keep that up and you might find big girl panties in your stocking on Christmas morning!
Harper I am also very proud about the great job you are doing at being a big sister to little Remington. I can't believe how well you are already doing (I think you've had a pretty good teacher in your big sister Sydney). I love watching you take the pacifier to Remington when he's fussy. I love seeing you give him your shirt when he's upset. I know how important that shirt is to you and I'm very proud of you for sharing. Here is what I would like for you to work on. I want you to try to listen to mommy and daddy better. Do what they ask you to do the first time. That's important.

Remington - Keep sleeping, little guy! You are making mommy and daddy very happy.

For all of you: Please remember what Christmas is truly about. This is a season to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. We give gifts as a symbol of the wise men bringing gifts, but let's also remember to share love.

I'll be getting updates from Ice Cream on a nightly basis. Keep up the great work and work on those things I asked you too.

Love
Santa Clause


If you have kids and you haven't invested in an Elf on the Shelf, I highly recommend it! It's fun and it keeps them on their toes, for sure!

A Whole Day by myself w/ the kids

Tomorrow is the first day I will be completely by myself for the whole day, start to finish, with all the kids. Aaron is going back to work and, although his trip lands at 5:45 tomorrow night, for all intents and purposes, it's all me.....start to finish.

I will do breakfast (pop tarts)
dressing the kids (the little ones will remain jammied up)
lunch packing (I think I can rook the husband into doing that tonight)
getting myself ready (tomorrow's ensemble definitely includes a hat)
dropping Sydney off (school is across the street and we'll still probably be late)
2 week check up for Rem (appt. at 10:30...surely I can make that without a problem)
lunch for Harper (so happy peanut butter sandwiches are her fave)
naptime.....probably for EVERYONE
play time
pick Syd up from school (the dreaded car rider line)
Monday folders
homework
Killer Hour!!!!!! (dinner will definitely include leftovers and chicken nuggets for the kids)
Bath time (so glad we bathed Rem this morning so he won't need one for a day or two)
Story time (it's my favorite part of the day...and easy to do while snuggling the newborn)
Bed time
Whew!

Wish me luck!

Life with 3 - I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

Wow! Two weeks ago tomorrow we became a family of 5. As I have heard stated from a friend of mine's sister "we can't play man to man any more, must switch to zone defense". I have also heard people say, "going from 2 kids to 3 is the hardest transition....after that it's pretty easy to add to the family"- Unless God has serious other plans I will never know if that is a true statement. Here are pieces of knowledge I have garnered in the last 13 days.
1) My house will never be clean again
2) My 2 year old can only handle so much of me holding baby brother before she spontaneously combusts in to a serious temper tantrum
3) My 5 year old just may be getting lost in the mix because she's SOOO well behaved
4) It's possible Sydney may never be on time to school for the rest of her life
5) The dinner hour just became exponentially harder with the addition of a newborn
6) In a matter of a few weeks I will be able to do a report on the evils of chicken nuggets on a nightly basis on children under the age of 5
7) The baby likes to snack.....unless I only have 10 minutes to feed and then he likes to nurse for half an hour to get good and full.....Murphy's Law
8) My to do lists are going to have to be shortened to a maximum of 5 things a day for the next several weeks
9) I changed my mind, I don't like the travel aspect of my husband's job...oh wait, he's a pilot - can't quite get around that.
10) And finally - if the dog makes it another 6 months in this house it will be a sheer miracle.

On the upside, I stated before that I could not wait to see the new dynamic this little guy would bring to our house, and though a lot of that remains to be seen, we already feel so complete with his presence. As crazy as life is...it just feels right.

Thank you God for blessing me with a 3rd reason to blow off the dishes and snuggle instead. Thank you for 5 year old bedtime stories, for 2 year old tickle wars and for 2 week old rooting and snuggling. Thank you for my dirty house, for my stressed out husband, for chicken nuggets and for thunderstorms that bring my older two running into our room at night for comfort from the storm. Will the world hear me complaining time and time again? Probably. But, in the great scheme of things I know that I wouldn't trade a single second of my life for anything.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Remington's Birth Story

A story that begins with a little fear and a lot of excitement and ends with a baby boy nestled in my arms 8 1/2 hours later.

Many of you know that since the horrendous labor story of my first child I have been drawn to do this child birth thing all natural with no meds. I contend that, although it is hard work (they don't call it labor for nothing), my recovery is so much quicker.

We have been ready to meet our little bundle of joy since the test came back positive, since the ultrasound came back with male anatomy in the picture and more so in the last few weeks before delivery. I was one of those crazy people who nested myself almost out of a nest. I cooked, I cleaned every surface in the house over and over again. From the moment my midwife said, "ok you are term and if labor started now we wouldn't stop it"....it was my license to get labor started. Especially since Harper was 9 days late....I was not about to go through that again.

Four days before my due date I had a regular pre-natal appointment in which my blood pressure was a wee bit high. After taking it 3 more times and it continuing to rise I was sent home and encouraged to relax and come back on Friday for a blood pressure check.

Thursday morning I got up and just didn't feel right. I was nauseous with a headache. I called the doctor who said to come in so we could check the blood pressure. It was high again. She sent me home to get a baby sitter for Harper with instructions to be back within the hour. Everyone was called, we found a sitter, found someone to pick up Sydney from school, got the grandparents on their way here, called the doula and away we went to the hospital.

I was induced with cytotech at 12:00 and then walked the halls.....9.million.times. Contractions were happening, I was making progress, my doula arrived, we joked and laughed, I contracted through it. The contractions were regular early on, but not intense until way later. I really thought it would be another quick labor. Babies have a funny way of fooling you. As the hours pressed on, the pain became more intense. I started to doubt if I could do this. My doula was amazing. My husband was phenomenal. Words of encouragement streamed from both of them. "You can do this", "You are unbelievable", "You are strong and beautiful", "this is a beautiful gift you are giving your baby".....on and on they encouraged me. Sarah tells me when it got really bad she would see Aaron shake his head, turn away, wipe his eyes, gather his strength and find more words of encouragement to whisper to me. My work was the toughest, but it can't be a picnic to watch your wife in that much pain and discomfort. Around the 8:00 hour was when the contractions became almost unbearable. But I had these two people that continued to tell me that I could do this, that I was doing this and that it was almost over. Around 10:00 I could feel myself push at the top of the contraction. I remember Sarah saying "push with your body, not with your voice" - clearly I was getting noisy. The midwife came in to check and said, "You are doing it, Courtney. Listen to your body and go with it." The rest of the delivery I had almost no direction from anyone. I didn't need it. My body was completely in charge. At 10:30 my midwife said "he's crowning". I pushed one more time after that and out he came at 10:34. It was beautiful. He cried immediately. He was ready to nurse immediately. He is a fantastic baby. So far, he almost never cries, he sleeps very well and is a champion nurser. The dude loves to eat.

I could have never done it without my amazing doula and unbelievable husband.

I am blessed.

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Today I am 39 weeks pregnant. Four days ago I thought I would be holding our new bundle of joy by now. I had contractions from 7:38 until 2:52. They were the kind of contractions that you knew meant business. Deep, low, breathe through it, rocking back and forth contractions. The last one lasted 5 minutes. It was rough, but doable. I say all this as a cheer to myself because, once again, I plan to have this baby medication free.....and it's not easy, but it is rewarding.

I had forgotten what it was like at the end of the pregnancy to just wait...and wait....and wait some more. Fortunately, for my husband it is hunting season and he has things to take his mind off the waiting. My work from home business is at a stand still, Sydney goes to kindergarten during the day and I only have Harper to keep my mind off the waiting. I have nested myself, almost, out of a nest (my family has threatened to kick me out if they have to smell one more cleaning chemical....EVER). I have walked, I have sat on the ball, I have spent time on my hands and knees all in an effort to move this kid down into my pelvis and get the ball rolling.

Last night my husband and I reminisced about how we waited and waited for Sydney. We went to the mall and walked and walked. We walked the halls of the hospital for hours on end to try to get early labor to speed up and in the end I waited it out by watching Oprah and Wheel of Fortune.

I am reminded how we waited and waited for Harper. I walked 2-3 times a day...in JULY trying to get that child to create an plan of evacuation. We thought every night was "the night". I contracted, I cried (not because they hurt but because I knew they didn't hurt enough to be "it"). I cried because I couldn't sleep. I cried because I was ready to meet Sydney's little sister. I cried because I cried all the time and I decided I ALREADY had postpartum depression. I shed more tears in the last 3 weeks before she was born than I had my entire pregnancy combined. And then I cried more because I had to be induced.

In both cases....The wait was totally worth it. Yes, Sydney can be a bossy britches and drive us crazy. Harper can TOTALLY drive us crazy with all her antics, but they have definitely made our home, our family and this world a better place.

So now we are down to the waiting game with little Remington. We are so ready....even Harper who has been calling him "poopy boy" for the last few months now says she's ready. What I must remember is that patience is a virtue and that this wait, this long and drawn out wait is going to bring to us (hopefully sooner than later) an amazing addition to this family, a new dynamic, one that is sure to shake things up and, again, make this home, this family and this world a better place.

Tonight we are going to go to the mall and, as a family of 4, we will walk and walk and walk and try desperately to create our family of 5 by tomorrow....but if, by chance, tomorrow we are still a family of 4 I pledge to relish in that - to know that Remington is not ready and that our new, fun family of 5 will have to wait.....and that will.be.ok - it must be.

Harper's Birth Story

As a review - I am reminiscing the birth of my girls as I get ready to welcome baby boy Remington into this world. These are long posts. I want my girls to know about my pregnancy with them and my labor and delivery. I want, when they read this years from now as they are expecting their children, to know what their own entry into this world was like.

Harper - I found out I was pregnant with you on November 3rd 2007. I felt the effects of morning sickness almost immediately, but it was different than the sickness I had with Sydney. I very seldom actually vomited while pregnant with you, but I wanted to...every waking second it was on the tip of my tongue. I was nauseous from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning til the moment I closed them at night. Again, I was in caregiver mode of this new life in me, but it was much tougher to focus on it because I had a 2 year old to chase around. I still remember how we found out that you were a girl. We had the ultrasound a day or two before Sydney's 3rd birthday party so we had them seal it in an envelope. I took the envelope to a childrens clothing store where I picked out a boy outfit and a girl outfit and told the clerk to open the envelope and wrap the appropriate outfit. We let Sydney open it at her party. I was so excited Sydney was going to have a sister. Daddy had hoped for a boy, but knew that Sydney having a sister was important to me so he quickly got over it.
Because we were in a new area, we were forced to find a new doctor. Based on my labor experience with your older sister, I was very nervous. As much as I had loved bringing a new life into this world, the process....not so much. My friend, Amy told me about her doula (a labor coach), Beth and Beth's 6 week child birth class. I contacted Beth and was signed up for the class. Now.... you should know that this class was mainly about "natural" childbirth (read: No meds, no epidural....do it the old fashioned way). As we went around the room and introduced ourselves I heard lots of reasons for my classmates being there. My reason was this "Hello, my name is Courtney and I'm just trying to get to a 4".... you see, I KNEW there was no way I could have a baby with no medication. I had had a baby. I had labored for days, it was a terrible experience. I was in that class to figure out what kind of medication free pain relief was out there that I could do....until I was allowed medication. Beth was fabulous. She was very knowledgeable and as I went through the class I started to think "hmmmm....maybe I can do this". Your dad and I decided that we would attempt this birth with no meds. Gigi thought I needed to be institutionalized. I spent the last weeks of my pregnancy researching, reading birth stories, going to the chiropractor so I would have a straight path for you to descend down, doing yoga and practicing relaxation techniques. At about 32 weeks we started getting serious about getting your room together. When we were finally ready at about 37 weeks...we.were.ready. Our doula, Meredith, was hired, we had had our meetings, the birth plan was written and discussed with our mid-wife, the bags were packed... but you were not ready to join us. Long story, short - you were 9 days late. From 39 weeks on, we tried EVERYTHING! Bumpy rides, spicy food, stripping membranes, herbs and lots of other "natural" induction methods. So.... on July 16th, we checked into the hospital for our induction. I was given a cervical insert at 8:30, I had my first contraction at 10:15 and they were 4 minutes apart immediately. Meredith was FABULOUS! We walked through the contractions, but very quickly I knew I needed to be closed up in the room so I could moan and groan and do my "natural childbirth" thing. Your dad rubbed my back, I cried, I visualized, I moaned, I heard my relaxation music. Very soon the contractions were right on top of each other. My silent tears and groans turned to sheer screams. I remember looking at Meredith saying "I can't do this!" Her response: "You can! You ARE doing this! You are amazing! Breathe in, breathe out and do this!" Suddenly, I was back. I was focused. But, it didn't take many hard core contractions for me to lose that focus again. It was 1:28 pm and the nurse said "you are 6-7 and posterior". It was not what I wanted to hear. I was ready to push. Suddenly, I said "I'm pushing!!! I can' help it! My water just broke!!" It was crazy. Meredith snapped me back to attention by saying to me "Courtney, look at me and count to 10!" I counted to 10 and it helped. When we got to 10, we started all over and counted again. At 1:40 you entered this world and the world has been changed since then. You were 7lbs. 6 oz. and 20 inches long with a mohawk - a natural mohawk that before it would finally lay down when you were a year old, measured 4 inches in height. You came quick, my midwife didn't make it in time, the nurses and another doctor that I had never met delivered you. We laughed and said that you were stubborn - 9 days late and then you couldn't even wait for the doctor! As it turns out, it would be the theme of, at least, the first 2 years of your life - stubbornness. And Harper, we LOVE you for it. You bring a new element to our family. You try our patience daily, but you also make us laugh daily. You are cute, silly and you definitely think you are in charge. These attributes will serve you well one day. I see years of banging heads with one another in our future, but I also see you becoming an amazing Christian woman with a good head on her shoulders who is her own person, never to be told what to do by anyone. Harper Kay Arrant, you are amazing. I cannot wait to see the child, teen, young woman and mother you morph into. We love you, we thank God for you and we pray for you and the woman you will become daily.

Sydney's birth story

Strap in -this is going to be a long one. Last night I had serious contractions for several hours. True to form, nothing came of it...that's how my babies roll, but it prompted me to get some stuff done today to get ready for this little guy. I have just put my two precious girls to bed and I am packing my hospital bag....and I am getting teary as I remember the births of my girls. Since one day I hope to print this off and bind it in book form to give to my kids as a gift, I decided this would be a good time to write about how they entered this world. This post will be Sydney's post. Harper's will follow.... they are night and day!

Sydney, I found out I was pregnant with on July 6, 2004. My first doctor's appointment wasn't until mid-August (which completely freaked me out, but is totally normal) so I had about 4 weeks to think about the fact that there was this new life growing in me and I hoped I was doing things right. It's amazing how you are immediately protective of a tiny being the size of a penny. I rubbed my belly, I talked to you, I prayed over you.
At the time I was very good friends with a girl who had been trying to get pregnant for a year. The fact that my pregnancy came easily was hard for her. She did a good job being happy for me, but I knew she struggled. It was the only "downer" in the pregnancy for me. I started taking my pre-natal vitamins, I was on cloud 9. Your dad was in the Cayman Islands when the test came back positive I.Could.Not.Wait to tell him. He was in total disbelief, but he was excited. He brought back a onesie that had something about the Cayman Islands on it. It was blue. He was certain you were going to be a boy.
I had my first doctor's appointment and the verdict came in that the official due date was March 3rd. Not too long after that I began to feel the effects of morning sickness. For the next several weeks I was violently ill EVERY SINGLE MORNING for about 4 hours. Once 9:00 am hit, I was ok, provided I didn't eat meat, smell meat, talk about meat, look at meat or think about meat. I lived off scrambled eggs, cheese and bean burritos. Later in the pregnancy I could muster Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. We ate them almost daily. It is amazing I could fit through the doors of the hospital.
I'll never forget the day we found out you were going to be a girl..... you could have knocked us over with a feather. No one was disappointed, but for some reason, I just expected to be carrying a boy. We spent the next few months getting ready for your arrival. I read everything I could get my hands on. We painted the room....twice (it's a long story - another blog for another day), we bought bedding, we registered, we had showers, we were nervous, anxious and excited as we anticipated the day of your arrival. Our bags were packed and the car seat in the car weeks before your due date. We opened presents for you at Christmas and talked about how our next Christmas would be so different.
At 36 weeks I was starting to dilate (you should know before you have babies of your own that sometimes that means nothing....read on). First I was a 1, then 2 weeks later at 38 weeks I was dilated to a 2. It's almost here I squealed to your dad. We are going to have a baby soooo soon! Can you believe it???? On February 25th we went to the mall and walked and walked and walked. On February 26th I awoke to dampness (you should also know that when you are 9 months pregnant and expected to deliver any time the dampness is a toss up... "did my water break or did I just pee on myself?"). I called in to the doctor, "go back to bed and check again in a hour to see how much liquid you collected and get some sleep" (laughable). An hour later I checked and there was bleeding. I called back "maybe you should come in". I was a nervous wreck. Gigi and Papa were on their way in no time. We went in, checked in, changed clothes only to find that there had been no progress and the blood was a busted blood vessel due to contractions. "Go walk the halls and come back in an hour" I burned off every Filet-O-Fish sandwich I had ever eaten in that one night of hall walking. We walked for hours with no progress. I was sent home to get some rest with the instruction to come back when my contractions had been 5 minutes apart regularly whether I was sitting or standing for over an hour. Sunday morning brought more contractions, more walking and, eventually, the Golden Globes. We timed contractions while I watched the beautiful dresses walk the red carpet. When the contractions had been 2-3 minutes apart for an hour or so we went back. I was certain I would be almost ready to push.... I was still at a 2 - NO PROGRESS!!! How could that be?!?! I refused to go down and walk, I couldn't do it. I laid in that hospital bed contracting every 2 minutes and willing things to open up and let you out. At 7:00 am Monday morning, when my contractions had been 2 minutes apart for 12 hours, I was sent home. I'm not sure I had ever cried that hard in my life. I felt such defeat. I was a failure at dilating. Who can't dilate for crying out loud?!?! I labored at home, we continued to time contractions, I tried to eat, I threw up, I tried to drink, I threw up. At 3:00 Gigi took command. After talking to your dad she said, "you take her back to that hospital. You tell them you are not leaving without a baby. I do not care if they have to cut her open. And that your mother in law is on her way". He did as he was told. We headed back, checked back in, lots of tears, I was beyond exhausted. At this point I had been up for almost 24 hours straight. They checked me and, Praise The Lord, I was at a 4 which, at the time, was where you had to be to have an epidural. They didn't even ask, they knew it was a stupid question. Medication administered and then the beauty of numbness took hold of me. I watched Oprah. I played Wheel of Fortune. I could not wait until they told me it was time to push. At 9:00 I pushed and pushed and at 9:27 pm you entered this world. 6 lbs. 12 oz. and 19 3/4 in. long with a head full of some of the most beautiful dark hair I have ever seen. Daddy and I cried. Gigi cried. It was a most amazing experience. You were finally here. You were screaming and it was the most beautiful sound in the world to me. Trust me when I tell you that you have no idea what true love is until you hold your own flesh and blood. It is not something anyone can ever put into words. You must experience it to truly grasp it. Since that day I have prayed for you daily and will continue to do so until my final days on this earth. So sweet, such a giver, such a peace maker. I love you Sydney Reese Arrant and as hard as the labor and delivery was, it was among the most beautiful experiences of my life.

Good Friends, Good Food and, in a few weeks, good wine again

As I get older I learn the importance of good, strong friendships. I have GREAT friends that I have only known a short time in my life, I had friendships that I thought would be around FOREVER that the relationship has disintegrated because of divorce. I have friends that I lost touch with and now have reconnected with. There are friends that I can go months without talking too, yet when we pick up the phone - it's as though we spoke yesterday. I love that I can call my husband my best friend. I love that my mom is on my list of best girlfriends. I love that my "best friend" from junior high.....still has "best friend" status. I love that as a mature adult, you learn the importance of good friends and you learn what a true friend really is.

Last weekend we visited friends in Maumelle, AR. We met these friends shortly after moving to Little Rock. Aaron met Ben flying and I met Alyssa because Aaron and Ben became friends. When we met we were in the same place in life - pretty newly married with no kids. Seven years later, a lot has happened. We both have two children; Aaron and I have another one on the way (I'm still holding out for Ben and Alyssa and a third); our kids are very close in age and play very well together; we've all changed jobs; Aaron, Ben and Alyssa have all lost a parent; life has happened.

Ben was fantastic when Aaron's dad passed away. He drove 4 hours to come to the funeral to be there for Aaron. He later sent an email giving Aaron some amazing words and advice. One of the things Aaron said after his dad passed was that you think you know who your true friends are....then something tragic happens and you find out who they really are. Your true friends are the ones who call and check on you knowing there is nothing to say, but just being there to listen. Your true friends are the ones who drive 4 hours to go to a funeral of a man he only met once - because this man's son was important to you.

Alyssa is such a joy to be around. We always have SOOO much to talk about - yet we can never finish a conversation because we are constantly interrupted by small children. I hope 15 years from now we are visiting each other and discussing how the kids are doing in college. I am grateful for her friendship.

This past weekend I was able to spend time with some other very good friends. Where I have only known Ben and Alyssa for 7 short years, I have known Holly and Kelly my.whole.life. Our dads were in the navy together and were stationed together all over the country. They met in California. Holly and my older brother, Keith, were born in the same hospital in Idaho Falls, ID a yearish apart, I came 2 years later and Kelly, 3 years after that. Our families settled in Russellville when Keith was 7, Holly 6, me 4 and Kelly 1. We spent family Christmases and Thanksgivings together. Some of my fondest memories include the Edington family - Sliding down the stairs in their house on our butts, sliding sock footed on the kitchen floor, "bolster bash" (a ridiculously fun made up game where the older two teamed up against the younger two and it ALWAYS ended in a fight and the visiting family deciding it was time to leave...always), hide and seek in the dark - the list goes on and on. As we grew up and all went to college we grew apart. Holly and Kelly's parents began to move around as Randy worked up the ladder. My parents have loved calling Russellville home and never wanted to leave. Holly and Kelly went off to college, Keith and I stayed close to home. There was probably a 10 year period that we didn't see or talk to the Edingtons more than once or twice a year. Now, all the kids are grown, married and have children of our own (almost all of us). I have LOVED reconnecting with Holly and Kelly again. My kids love Kelly. They love going to see her at her place of work because now we live close to each other again. I love chatting with Holly about the joys (and tough parts) of motherhood. I love that when Holly visits from North Carolina I'm on the list of peeps to call and have lunch with.

As I thought today about this blog entry, my thoughts went back to my kids (cause that's where they always go) and I couldn't help but look forward to seeing their friendships throughout life blossom. I love that I have friends that I've only had a short time and I know will be around for a very long time. I love that I have friends that I've had my whole life. I love that Michele, who I have called my best friend since 8th grade, I still refer to as "my best friend". I love that the man I've chosen to spend the rest of my life with is my true best friend. Between the weekend with the Andersons and the weekend with the Edingtons, I laughed a.lot, I had a ton of fun, and I gained a whole new appreciation for the value of good friends.

My sweet babies: Cherish your friendships, be sure you find those special girlfriends(and guy friends, Rem) and love each other - I hope we raise you so that your siblings are your greatest cheerleaders and included in your list of best friends. I wish for you the Micheles, Alyssas, Bens, Hollys and Kellys. I hope you have friends that you can get together with in your 30s and laugh until you pee your pants about "bolster bash". I wish for you a life full of awesome friends and I hope your dad and I are far up on that list and that you can say one day, "my mom is one of my very best friends".

Angel wants to kiss me

Oh dear Lord it has happened. My KINDERGARTEN daughter was propositioned on the playground by a fellow student...for a kiss. I knew the day would come, but I didn't really know it would make me physically ill.

Sydney, you should know, looked adorable today (note to self: try to make your kindergartner look like such a cutie patootie and then the boy on the play ground won't ask her to kiss him). She had this totally cute zebra/hot pink skirt/shirt number and was rocking the biker babe boots with it. She also wore a hot pink leopard print bow in her hair. You could tell as she walked into that building she. felt. awesome! Total confidence exuded from every pore of her being. She bounced her hair, gave me a wave and rocked that outfit all the way down the yellow hall.

3:00 I pick her up. "How was your day, Syd?" "It was good. We had music. That's my favorite special. I need to bring a dollar tomorrow for my 'Say No To Drugs' armband, we got to go to Mrs. Fontenopolous' room to watch Charley Brown Goes to the Pumpkin Patch. Angel told me on the playground he wished he could kiss me..." SCRREEECCHHIINGGG Halt!!!! "I'm sorry, what?" "He did! He's a really nice boy and I like that kid, but I do not want to kiss him. So very politely I said to him 'ummm I don't think so' and he said ok"....."boys are weird"

Angel does seem like a nice boy. He smiles at her. She was the one to go get the teacher when he was blowing chunks on the play ground, they wave to each other very cute.....it's all very adorable...But Angel, I do not think you two are ready for kissing yet...and Sydney, I'm very proud of you for saying no and being polite about it.

Aside from that I really am speechless....


Seriously.....

Parenting 101

We all do it. Those of us that are parents think our way is best. We have our own reasons, whether it's "that's the way my parents did it and I think I turned out ok" or "that's the way my parents did it and I swore I never would" or "the last 14 books on child-rearing I read said......" Whatever the reason, we have it and we stick by it. Now, on occasion, as parents, we throw our hands up and say "I don't know what I am doing wrong......What would you do?" At any rate, we are given advice and we give advice, sometimes solicited, sometimes not - but it's always there.

Those of you who are friends of mine on face book and who follow my blog know what my biggest parenting issues are: I don't do a great job of "picking my battles" (specifically with clothes and specifically with my 5 year old), I yell way too much and my 2 year old has SERIOUS sleep issues. I have read every book, asked the advice of everyone I know, tried LOTS and LOTS of stuff, but to no avail. Baby Remington is due in 4 weeks and 5 days (or a little more than 800 hours or a little over 1600 Hannah Montana episodes). I NEED SLEEP! My husband requires a ton of sleep, Sydney requires a ton of sleep and Harper....well, she likes to get up and play.....at 2:00 am. It usually lasts about 2 hours and then she drifts back off to sleep, but in those 2 hours she visits our room multiple times, typically about every 15 or 20 minutes. I am at my wit's end.

Last night some of my Pampered Chef girls and I were treated by our directors to appetizers at Ruth Chris Steakhouse where I was bombarded (after we talked business of course) by advice. None of it was bad. It was all just different than what I want to do. "Put her back in the crib", "Make a pallet on the floor", "You are too nice, let that kid cry".....I had a reason not to do any of those things. Aaron and I have settled on putting a childproof door knob on the inside of her door and shutting her in. I could tell that some of my PC peeps thought this was really cruel and unusual. It's ok that they thought that because, for whatever reason, in their mind it IS cruel and unusual. For me, the crib is not an option, the pallet is not an option and wandering the house is dangerous so it's what we've decided.

All this to tell you that I got a super sweet text from one of my PC peeps this morning telling me that she thought I was an awesome mommy and whatever worked for our family was what I should do. Thank you Emily Hand! I appreciate the fact that you recognized I might have been offended (P.S. I totally wasn't) and gave me an "atta girl". I listened to ALL the advice, but decided it's not for us and I hope no one thinks my locking her in her room is cruel and unusual punishment....if you do - I ask you to come spend the night one night :) - I think you'll change your mind. The beauty of good friends giving advice and taking advice is that I was not offended and they will not be offended that I don't take it. That's what I've learned in this parenting world. There is more than one way to skin a cat, or to get a kid to sleep at night. Pallets and crib returns work for some, locking the kids in their rooms work for others :). As for our family.... I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, Harper, when you read this years from now I hope you are not scarred too badly and feel like you now have abandonment issues because we left you to figure out how to put yourself back to sleep without milk, nuggles, playing monkey or playing beauty shop in the wee hours of the morning. I hope you recognize that it's out of sheer love (and necessity) that this is the course of action we have taken. But mostly, I hope you outgrow your sleep issues in the years to come and one day see what a whole night's sleep feels like. I, myself, have forgotten, but to the best of my recollection.... It.Is.Wonderful!

Preservatives, Whole Foods, Healthy Stuff etc.

I like to be healthy. I know how to enjoy good food, good wine and a good lazy day, but all in all when I'm healthy I just feel right. I have a bad habit of not keeping up with an exercise routine while I am pregnant. With my first two I was S-I-C-K! I would try to get on the treadmill only to end up running to the bathroom and losing whatever I had managed to keep down that day. By the time the 15th or 16th week rolled around and I was no longer sick, I was just out of the habit and it was SOOO hard to get back in. You see, I'm just like everyone else - it's hard for me to find that love for exercise again once I've lost it, the difference is that I remember so clearly how it felt that I'm anxious to find it again. With both pregnancies I was back in the gym very quickly and back in pre-pregnancy clothes by about the 2nd month after delivery. I have always envisioned myself having a whole foods, preservative free, homemade everything lifestyle for my kids. I've done ok, but this pregnancy has thrown me for a loop. I haven't been sick, just tired. I have been low on patience and on edge. Sydney started kindergarten which has changed our schedule dramatically, Harper doesn't sleep and I am in constant discomfort. My husband travels and is gone A.Lot and frankly, my dreams of super healthy foods for my kids have gone out the window. So, Sydney, Harper and Remington: When you read this years from now consider this your apology blog. Right now you think Pop Tarts, Chicken Nuggets, Sausage wrapped in pancake on a stick, corn dogs, swiss cake rolls and the like is really cool. I think it totally stinks, but I'm in a downward spiral of needing things to be easy around here. I am sorry for filling you with crap! Sugar, Preservatives and just plain easy....I apologize. My hope is to get all my ducks in a row sometime in the next 6 months and figure out how to do this mommy thing with 3 kids and a preservative free kitchen. In the meantime, I hope you are not physically scarred from the crap I am feeding you and that one day you will reap the benefits of a life full of whole foods, exercise and awesome health.

The End.

Why???

This post finds me in deep prayer for a friend of mine from high school who I also worked with for a couple of years. Her grandmother taught my Sunday school class for about 3 years and she is, to date, one of my favorite grannies on the planet.

Avie, this friend of mine, is in labor as we speak with her little boy, Harrison. He is about 29 weeks gestation so the outcome could go either way. The kicker? About 3 years ago Avie was pregnant with a little girl and had to give birth around 25 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. Baby Girl Hardin lived for 78 minutes. Avie's blog is quoted as saying "it was the best...and worst 78 minutes of my life....." Obviously, we are all hoping for a wonderful outcome for Harrison, but don't you know that fear is still there in Avie and her husband? I ask, if you are reading this, to place Avie, her husband and baby Harrison on your heart, your mind and your prayer list. Her last status update on Face book was "Please pray....we can't handle the loss of another baby....."

I hear of situations like Avie's and other people who have trouble conceiving or carrying babies to term and then I think back to the times I have complained about my kids. Wouldn't those women, who cannot get pregnant, do anything to have a "Great Clothing Debate" with their 5 year old daughter. I look at the children in the foster system who made it into this world only to be beaten and abused by those who are supposed to love them most. These are always what brings about "why" questions in my head. I know, as Christians, we are not supposed to ask God "why?" we are supposed to pray and know that he sees the big picture and we only see a snippet. We know that God doesn't like us to be sad and unfortunately, there is tragedy in this world. What I will never understand is why some tragedies are necessary.... why people like Avie and her husband are forced to endure tragedies of this kind and fear like they are experiencing today.

Today I know, more than ever, I am blessed.

I am blessed with a 2 year old who cannot stay out of my bathroom drawers, who I've had to call poison control on 4 separate times, who does not sleep through the night and who is stubborn beyond words - she is a blessing. She loves tractors and motorcycles, guns and her camo hat. She teaches me something every day. She is funny, expressive and her stubborn attributes will serve her well one day later in life.

I am blessed with a 5 year old who has an issue with clothes, who loves to be bossy and pick on her sister and who has no concept of "we only have 5 minutes to get out the door so please hurry". She blesses me with insight into a 5 year old world that I have forgotten about. She blesses me with laughter and hope for our future. I believe with all my heart that one day she will bless our educational system as a wonderful teacher. I will then know that the bossiness is paying off :)

I am blessed with a healthy fetus who is currently at almost 35 weeks gestation. A little boy. He will bring a different atmosphere into this house. I cannot wait to meet him. I cannot wait to see what our future, as a family of 5, holds. I can't wait to see what this new dynamic brings.

We have hopes and dreams for our children. I take those for granted on a daily basis.

Lord, today I not only pray for Avie, Scooter, Harrison and the rest of their families, but I pray that whoever is reading this stops what they are doing and says "thank you". Thank you for allowing me to have 2 healthy children with another one on the way. Thank you for their laughter, their insight, their stubborness and camo hats. Thank you for clothing debates and poison control. Thank you for lipstick smeared kisses and toothpaste smeared mirrors. Thank you for messy play rooms and too much laundry. Thank you for health, happiness and family.

Have you thanked your God today?

Let's laugh

After a couple of mushy heartfelt posts I say "Let's Laugh"!!!!!

I love hearing about Sydney's days at kindergarten. It brings back so many memories. There are things that are EXACTLY the same and things that are crazy different. Here are some of the things that are the same:
*When saving a seat at lunchtime, the kids put their leg on the seat next to them (totally did
it when I was in elementary school)
*New pencils are still very exciting
*"You cutted!!!!" is still a phrase you hear a lot
*The specials (Music, P.E. and Library) are still around and Sooo much fun for the kids
*Childhood crushes are still expressed by chasing each other
*The threat of "You won't be my best friend anymore if........" happens multiple times a day
*Kindergarten teachers are VERY cool!
*Lunch in the cafeteria has not gotten any better
*Boys still have cooties (ESPECIALLY if he is chasing you)
*Swinging...still one of the coolest activities on the play ground
*Room Mothers and volunteering
*Head checks for lice

Things that are different:
*There's a new special in town and it's name is computer lab (Sydney thinks it's boring, but I'm hoping it gets more exciting with time)
*Changing your color + no spankings - Cards go from Green, to Yellow, to Orange to Red. I'm not sure what happens at Red, but I know it's not a spanking - we had 4 Black tickets and on the 4th it was paddle time (not that I ever knew that from experience)
*Free for all disorganized play time has been replaced by "Centers". There is a Math Center, Guided Reading Center, Writing Center, Blocks Center , ABC's Center, house/kitchen Center, Art Center, Games Center, Computers Center (and I'm sure I'm leaving some out)
*Phonetic Connection....This one blew me away. Sydney said to me "I didn't get to do rest time because I was daydreaming and didn't finish my Phonetic Connection....long story short - it's called a word problem - fancy names for simple tasks
*Journal Writing
*HOMEWORK!!! In kindergarten! At least 30 minutes EVERY night!!!
*WatchDog Dads. A very cool program that gets the Dads involved in volunteering and allows some male figures to some kids who don't have male figures in their lives

All in all, some things never change. Some things are being re-vamped yearly because there just is no good system. You will always have the kids that act out and are trouble makers, the shy/quiet ones and the ones who blend in somewhere in the middle. I love Sydney's school. I love the teachers and I love that they have dedicated their lives to teaching our children. Lord knows I could never do it (I can barely have lunch at their table without needing some sort of anti-anxiety drug when I'm done). I watched Sydney on the play ground today after lunch and wondered if any of these same kids would still be in her life 10 years from now or next year, for that matter. I have fond memories of elementary school and can't wait to hear her reflections of elementary school years from now.

Will she still believe that they all had to go to the nurse to have their heads looked at because 2 kids threw up or will it dawn on her that they had to have their heads checked when Hudson Brewer was sent home because he had bugs in his hair because the nurse was seeing if anyone else had bugs in their hair?

Will her love for reading continue as she continues to excel? Will she ALWAYS love to write in her journal? Will she have a great love of writing one day? Will she become a teacher because of those teachers in her life and will she ever have a teacher that ruins it for her? Only time will tell, but in the meantime I am LOVING her stories of play ground chasing, kids vomiting, bugs in the hair and phonetic connections.... They bring me tons of laughter, happiness and pride.

What's that look? It's pride!

When I was in the 3rd grade I did one of those drill team camps that the high school drill team puts on to raise money. They invite elementary aged kids to come on a Saturday and learn a dance that they will perform at half time of an upcoming game. Your parents pay a crazy amount of money and you get a T-shirt and the chance to feel VERY cool and grown up. I will never forget that Saturday, the dance or the performance. We danced to Grease Lightening and I'm certain it was wonderful. As I ran up the bleachers to greet my parents my mother had these tears rolling down her face. Was it that bad??? As I mommy myself I now know - nope! It was that good! That look on her face, those tears....it was a little emotion called "pride". It's one thing to have pride in yourself. That's all too important to be proud of what you do and who you are, but it's something totally different to have pride in someone else.
We are in the throws of deer season. Now, I don't really hunt, but I have come to love this time of year because it is so special for my husband (and love is not a strong enough word for what I feel for him). After my father in law passed away in May, my brother in law came back to us. That's a different story for a different day, but I think he got his priorities straight and a few things were put into perspective for him. Wes has not hunted with Aaron or his dad in several years. This year he was back home. This, the first hunting season without their wonderful dad, was bound to be tough. It was a time that was going to take Aaron back many memories and for weeks I have prayed that he would not have to go through it alone. I was so happy when Wes decided he would get up and go with him. Yesterday afternoon Wes killed a deer. I saw the pictures posted on Face book. You almost can't see anything except his teeth he is smiling so big. There were a few pics taken and then I saw the picture of Aaron next to his brother, his arm around him as Wes leaned in close to his kill - I saw so many things in that picture. I saw the same look on Aaron's face that I know his dad must have had when Aaron got his first kill. I saw the look that I am bound to see again one of these days when Remington gets his first kill. I saw the same look that I saw on my mom's face 20+ years ago as I ran off the basketball court... Pride. My eyes welled up with tears as I studied that picture and my husband's face. Maybe I can chalk it up to hormones or just that I cry easily, but I think I felt a little pride too. I'm proud of Wes. I'm proud of my husband. And you know what? My father in law is totally busting with pride as he looks down at these men his sons have become.
We miss you so much P-paw!

Redemption

I feel like I have totally redeemed myself from my tirade this morning. What a wonderful afternoon I shared with my amazing little girl. It was a beautiful afternoon and we walked hand in hand around the Promenade shopping and talking. I can totally see the same scenario 25 years from now with her pushing a stroller and telling me about how her baby is keeping her up at night (and boy will I have some stories to share with her). We laughed about funny boys at school, we talked about self esteem and feeling beautiful. We spoke of true beauty and inner beauty. We tried on clothes. She hated them all. I didn't care. We Christmas shopped. She asked for a journal for Christmas so she could begin to write down her feelings. We ate pizza and I watched my little girl fix her drink and her salad totally by herself and I sat in the booth and rested my hugely gynormous belly.... "little girl"....not for long. We giggled like teenagers all the way home. She sang in the shower as I sat outside and listened to her. We talked about the best parts of her day and the worst. Then I tucked her in and she drifted off to sleep....I hope she has sweet dreams. It is for moments like these, God, that I am truly truly thankful and feel beyond blessed.

Into Perspective

You know those days when something happens that just puts things into perspective a little more? Today was one. As you have read from the previous post "The Great Clothing Debate", Sydney and I have quite the knock out drag downs about her clothes. Monday night we went ahead and picked out all clothes for the rest of the week. Today's selection was a denim skirt, pink leggings, a hot pink Rocker T-shirt and her black "biker boots"....it really was a cute outfit. She has been looking forward to wearing those boots all week, but hasn't been able too because of P.E. (darn you, P.E. messing up our cute outfits with your "must wear tennis shoes" rule). So, today dawned bright and early at our house with the anticipation of wearing her new boots. She got dressed, ate breakfast and then heard the words "Whoa...look at the time, only 10 more minutes! Go get your shoes and socks on, grab your backpack and jacket and brush your teeth" (In hindsight "brush your teeth" should have been the first instruction, but we'll get to that later). Anyway - socks on, boots on and a quick test to make sure she could sit "criss cross applesauce, snip snap hands in your lap" proved to be disheartening. When we tried different seating methods none of them would work because she was afraid she would run into the next dot on the carpet and have to change her color. So....we had to change shoes. The first pair yielded a pewter pair of slip ons. They were cute, but she determined the left one was too tight. I said, "Syd - you are going to have to hurry - we're down to 4 minutes! Go put on a different pair, grab your back pack, jacket and brush your teeth" (again with that instruction last) -"what about your hot pink pair that I bought you and you never wear?" I shouted after her.... Out of her room she comes in white sandals that are really too small stating "it's fine, mom, it's fine" Now down to 1 minute and no back pack or jacket in sight I said "it's not fine, but there's no time. Where is your jacket and BACK PACK?????" Out she comes with a pullover... "Sydney Reese! Your Jacket! Your pink fleece jacket!" Tears.... "I can't find it" Crap - totally my fault - I didn't put it up last night - quick hug, kiss and apology, race to find the jacket and out the door we went. As we walk out I hand her the jacket and say "here put this on" (we walk to school, mind you) to which she says "I don't really think I need it".....Now - I decide to pick my battles. "Fine then! Leave it here. You are going to freeze, but if you are not going to wear it you are going to leave it here"....It was 40 degrees. She was wearing short sleeves. She froze the whole way to school. I dropped her off with a hug and a kiss and "Have a GREAT day I love you" and felt terrible the whole way home. I should have forced her to wear the jacket. I should have told her she looked beautiful in the too small white sandals. I maybe should have encouraged Twinkle Toes, but I definitely should have told her how beautiful she was. I wanted to drive back up to school, walk down to her classroom, give her a hug and tell her that sometimes mommies mess up. Sometimes we yell when we really shouldn't. Sometimes we make mistakes that we hope don't have lasting effects. I didn't. I'll talk to her about it this afternoon.

I got home, flipped my calendar and realized I had a pre-natal appointment this morning. Off to the doctor I went for a regular check up. However, the measurements are off. This could mean nothing. It could mean he's going to be small or that he's turned weird (it's probably one of these things) - however, it could mean the fluid is low or that he's stopped growing for some reason or, worse, only part of him has stopped growing. I am sure this baby is fine, but talk about putting things into perspective. Here's this little life that is probably thriving just fine, but may not be.... and I am fighting with my 5 year old about sandals! What is wrong with me?!?! Why do I consistently make these same mistakes over and over???? Because I am human. My children love me unconditionally as I love them....we all make mistakes - they'll make them, I'll make them again and again, I'll forgive them, they'll forgive me and we'll continue to love each other through all the mess ups!

This afternoon I will make sure Sydney knows that I think she is beautiful inside and out, in boots or in sandals, with her hair up or in her face....she is sheer beauty because she's an incredible kid.

P.S. As we were walking to school I said to her "you brushed your teeth, right?" "ooops" was her reply - Teeth brushing instruction first from now on :)

I am a Bible Study Loser

Well this post finds me skipping Bible Study.....again....for the second week in a row. We are doing a wonderful Beth Moore study on David, but unfortunately, I am having a really hard time getting into it. For one thing I am 34 weeks pregnant and it lasts 2 hours - and 2 hours of sitting with extreme back pain is tough. I suppose I could pray and ask God to release me from my back pain for just a little while, but I think the truth is that I feel so inferior to these women who are in there and know so much about the Bible and Christ. Well...that's easy, Courtney - GO TO BIBLE STUDY! I know, I know. I should be there. I can always think of a thousand excuses why I can't go - I don't feel good, I'm tired, I didn't do my lessons, but let's face it - I feel inferior.... I just do. There is no way getting around it. I am two weeks behind in my lessons - I don't understand some of the questions, the ladies all have better answers than me and I feel like a loser. Today I pledge that while my husband has my little one at my MIL's and I have the days ALL to myself for the rest of the week I WILL GET CAUGHT UP on my studies....and I will be there next week! No matter how tired, no matter how much pain I'm in due to this crazy fetus and no matter how inferior I feel... I will be there!

The Great Clothing Debate

Sydney Reese Arrant: I love you more than words can express, but we fight daily about clothes.... and you are only 5 years old. I am concerned. I am concerned about teenage years, prom dresses and, quite frankly, tomorrow! Well, not tomorrow because after our little tiff tonight we picked the rest of the week's clothes so that we can be saved of this argument for the rest of the week. Do I struggle with this because it always happens at 7:00 at night - after the killer hour, the hour that everyone is tired, hungry, gripey etc. and by 7:00 I am just ready to read stories and get you guys to bed???? Well, yes, but more than that I am concerned about self esteem and not understanding the value of a dollar. When you read this years from now and have no idea what I am talking about, here is a refresher course: Every time I purchase something new for you I bring it home, we talk about it, we try it on, we discuss what we can wear it with. What pants will it go with, what shoes, what type of weather it is appropriate for. Then I say to you, "Now Sydney, before I cut the tags off of this and wash it - will you wear it without hesitation in the weeks and months to come?" You typically answer with a resounding "Yes Ma'am" and then we argue about every 3rd or 4th day about said clothing piece because you won't wear it and you won't tell me why. You just shrug your shoulders and say "I don't really think so....." - This leads to a battle of epic proportions (see "killer hour" above) because I am usually tired, stressed out and ready to just end the night and I end up raising my voice. Then I feel really bad about things and wish I could take it all back, but mostly what I wish for is your confidence level to increase ten-fold, for you to be able to put on anything in your closet and feel FABULOUS, for you to know that hard earned money was spent on these items and they are not meant to collect dust in your closet. I want to know what's going on in that head of yours. And, as I type this I know that this is the tip of the ice berg...that many more nights will I wonder about my precious angels "what is going on in that head of hers?".....

The Life of a Single Mom

My husband is a pilot. Pilots travel. He recently was promoted to a bigger jet. Now he travels A.LOT! Every time he's gone I gain new respect for single moms. I know a single mom who had her first baby while still in high school. She then had a baby every year for the next 3 years. She and her husband have divorced and she is a single mom to children who are 13, 12, 11 and 10. She works, she is involved in their school life, she is happy, her children are happy, healthy and full of a Christ like spirit. I am amazed by her. How do these women hold it together knowing there is no "he'll be home in 2 days....."? This is a shout out to all the single mommies out there. I think you are amazing!

Now - it's fall. Fall is hunting season. My husband is not only a pilot, he's a hunter. We live in a subdivision which means......you guessed it - if he wants to hunt - he has to travel (sigh). I could never take his life of hunting away from him. It is a very important part of his past, present and future. He wants to mold a piece of his father/son relationship with Remington around the deer woods. He wants to carry on the tradition that he and his dad built together with our son. In fact, our son is due opening day of modern gun season (how 'bout that irony?). Aaron has been gone for 5 days. I have been a single mom for 5 days. I have done wake ups, take to schools, take to doctors, administer medications, packed the lunches, homework, bath time, teeth brush time, story time and bed time...by myself...for 5 days. Now, some of you (including my mother who was a military wife for the first several years of her marriage and mothering years) are thinking to yourselves "cry.me.a.river" - I can....right about now - I can officially cry a whole river. I'm tired. I'm 34 weeks and one day pregnant. I have a two year old, a 5 year old and I run a pretty successful home based business. I have heart burn that makes me feel like a fire breathing dragon. My back is killing me. I am fat (and not just my belly - my butt, my face, my arms - the whole thing....and yet, I have successfully hidden an entire package of Oreos from the rest of the family and almost eaten the whole thing myself.... I.Have.No.Control) My husband will be home late tonight, probably around 10:00. Tomorrow morning he is leaving immediately after Sydney leaves for school to go hunting for 4 days. Wanna hear the exciting part? He's taking Harper with him! For 4 days I'm switching from the life of a pregnant single mom to an easier, simpler, life of a pregnant mom of a school aged child with a whole day free from 8:00 to 3:00.... FOR 4 DAYS!!!! Now, this is exciting stuff! What will I do? Well, here is the list:
1) Lunch with my friend Jessica.
2) Finish Halloween costumes
3) Work on the nursery
4) Sleep without interruption of a 2 year old
5) Nap, if I need too
6) work on my business
7) Enjoy my time and rest to be the best incubator for this fetus that I can be!
Do I feel a little guilty for being so excited at the prospect of some alone time? A little -but what I know is that Sydney and I will have LOTS of fun just the two of us and when Harper and Daddy return, I'll be a much better, well rested mommy and wife.

Catching up!

So....it's been a very long time since I've posted anything. Remember my first post? Why I didn't want to do this...what I if I started and didn't finish? What if I wasn't any good? Guess what? All fears came true. But here's the really good news.....I'm a big grown up momma and sometimes I even face my fears. Knowing that time was traveling faster than I care to admit and that I would never remember all the funny, cute, sad, awesome times we shared as a family, I decided to get back on the blogging horse. Who cares if I mispunctuated, or spelled things wrong or made up words? What's important? One of these days all these memories will be down for my kids and grandkids to embrace. I read a few of my Face book friends' blogs for inspiration.... my face book friends have AWESOME blogs....it made me more scared to try this crazy thing again, but I'm doing it. At the risk of making this hugely long and overly boring for anyone who wants to read this whole thing, I will hit the major events of the goings on in the last several months since I posted. We have had 3 major events in our lives that, had I been blogging, would have been some serious blogs.

In March of this year we found out that our family would be expanding again! We were very excited. Most people who know Harper thought that, clearly, this must have been an accident (Sorry Harp, but you are a mess - and we love you for it). It was totally planned. We have always said 3 children and after 2 sweet princesses, we knew that 3 was the magic number - Daddy needed a hunting buddy. We were hoping for a boy, but like we all say "as long as it's healthy....." and that we mean :).

Sadly, in May, our family was hard hit by the loss of P-Paw....my father in law. As I write this I still cry thinking about that weekend. Memorial Day Weekend 2010. Aaron and Harper were going to visit his parents while Sydney and I decided to head to Russellville to visit out of state uncles and allow Sydney some play time with her fave cousin, Meghan. Friday morning Sydney graduated pre-school. She wore a cap, sang a solo and received a certificate. It was such a wonderful day. She headed back to Russellville with Gigi and Meghan while I stuck around to finish up last minute items around the house. I headed to Russellville. An hour into my trip my mother in law called to tell me that P-Paw was in organ failure and I had better come quick. The weekend was a blur. I stopped at Russellville, had a talk with Sydney about what was happening and we hopped in the car and headed to Northeast Arkansas. Our beloved P-Paw passed away Sunday night about midnight. It was awful. To feel so helpless next to your strong, amazing husband who is pleading with his dad to just hang on because he's not ready.....I play that day back over and over again...all the while praying for my husband who lost his best friend. Where do we find peace? He's finally, after 5 years of fighting a hard battle with cancer, pain free and with his Lord and Savior. He sees us daily, he watches over our kids. For 3 or 4 weeks after his death Harper would have conversations with him...it was priceless - I wonder what they were talking about, I wonder what he was telling her, he often said that little girl held a very special place in his heart. You are missed dearly, P-Paw.

Our bright spot after the darkness - In June we found out that the new baby would be a boy! We all went to the ultrasound and all found out together that our new bundle arriving around Thanksgiving would, not only have male anatomy, but was very very healthy as well. Here's the comic relief to this story. The ultrasound tech kept referring to him as a "turtle" - try to explain to your 2 year old who has been hearing for weeks we are having a "baby" only to be told that now...it's a turtle - she was stoked! I think she's got it now, though

August of 2010 - I need a whole separate blog to write about this one.... Sydney started kindergarten. What a summer leading up to it. We were all nervous, we talked about it with excitement and anticipation and then.....it was the first day of school. We took 1,000 pictures (at the house, leaving the house, driving to school, in front of the school, in the hallway, in the cafeteria....you get the idea). It was bittersweet. I had a little excitement that I wouldn't be the constant entertainer of this precious 5 year old, who NEEDED constant entertainment, I felt guilt for time wasted, all the times she begged me for just one more game of Hullabaloo that I begged off because the dishwasher HAD to be unloaded. I felt anxiety for this tiny little girl starting school in this massive elementary school - it had to be scary. I was excited for Harper who would finally have some one on one attention. Needless to say, it was a day of mixed emotions. She loves school and is thriving. She is currently working above grade level in all categories. She is smart, works hard in school and aims to please. She is amazing!

As I sit here tonight and write I am excited about the return of my blog, I am seeing my massive to do list out of the corner of my eye for things which need to be done this week and I am currently trying to learn to relax more and take things in stride. Baby Remington will be here in about 6 weeks - we are nowhere near ready for him, but hopefully we'll get there. All he needs is a house full of love anyway, right? And he's definitely coming home from the hospital to that!